Just Singin' for Jesus...

"While I live I will praise the LORD; I will sing praises to my God while I have my being." (Psalm 146:2)

Hear me each Saturday and Sunday Afternoon at 4:00 "Discovering the Word"

It had to be God

             I’d like to share something with you that, while difficult for me to admit, may be of some encouragement to you.  But first, you need to know something about me.  I tend to be a perfectionist.  I have to “get it right”.  There is always a fear of failure, of letting someone down – especially God.  If I attempt something and fail, it’s a long time before I try again, if ever.  But God, through his love and mercy, is changing that.

            He is showing me that it’s okay to mess up.  I can’t help but think about the disciples in the boat, when Jesus came to them on the water.  Peter failed!  He didn’t make it all the way to Jesus!   The other disciples probably thought he was crazy…maybe even laughed and criticized him.  But, because he was willing to try, he was able to say what an awesome experience it was those few steps he did take on the water.  God doesn’t want perfection, he wants willingness.  So, I try.   And, sometimes, in my eyes, I fail.

            I got up to sing one Sunday morning during our early service.  The music started, I came in right on time, got through the first line and went blank.  The words left me, gone.  I had them restart it.  Still the words wouldn’t come.  I decided to try another song.  Those words left me too. This had never happened before, two songs in a row?!  It didn’t make sense.  The only thing I could figure was that I was preoccupied with some sad news I had just heard.  So I asked the pastor if he would just pray.  Inside I couldn’t help but feel like I had let them all down, that I had disappointed God.

            Soon after I sat down, all the while trying to understand why, a different song came to mind; one that had been showing up in different ways for a couple of weeks.  I hadn’t thought about doing that song, but now it seemed “the song” to do.  I was supposed to sing again for the second service.  The old me would have left crying and probably not gone back.  But I stayed.  I stayed and sang that other song, but not at the usual time.  I felt it had to be done at the end, when the pastor gave the altar call.  When I explained it to him, he said it would be fine.

             I shared with my church family what happened in the early service.  I praised God for his life-changing power.  Afterwards, I was told the altar was full.  I couldn’t say.  My eyes were on God.  I was lost in his reassuring peace.  Why did I forget the words?  Where did the courage come from to try again?  Why the different song and time?  Why was the altar full?  All I can say is…it had to be God!